Surat dari Rumah (3)

Tungkaimu memeluk hujan, di 

sana

di sini,

tangkaiku menekuk paran

Mari bercerita tentang hari

kebalikan

di mana telinga berebut membaca dan 

mulut padam teredam

"vice versa, 

vice versa"

kata titik-titik pada atlas

yang kerap lupa tempatnya

Hujan Dini Hari

Ya Rabb, sesungguhnya

hati hamba lemah dan

Engkaulah

Yang Maha Kuat. 

Behind the Wall

Dear my four little feets

I used to rebuke you for being so loud

now that I can only hear your voice through the wall

I thank Allah ﷻ so much for your noises

Oh so, your voice is a cure (Biidznillah) 

and how I miss to hold you both

deeply

I'm so sorry, my Dears. 

Sungguh,

... 

bisa apa hamba

tanpaMu, ya Rabb. 

Note-thing.

I found this post randomly on the social media: thing I actually hate but hadn't escape from. I feel guilty for the 'oh so related' feeling but — oh! So related. 

I feel so tired. Don't know how but my body parts also say that they're tired too. Headache, irregular flows, itchy skin, etc. What am I tired of anyway? Being me? Haha. 

Too many things I wouldn't ever talk to anyone. Some are secrets, some are just unexplainable. Is it okay to pass every morning waiting for the night to come? So I can sleep - pray privately - sleep. 

May Allahﷻ help me through this while me keep being a fair mother and human. Aamiin.